Hello, it is I; the absent Ren. I do apologize for my unannounced hiatus. I assure you, it wasn’t planned. I know I went from posting daily to practically nothing at all. That’s not cool. Never an excuse, but a reason nonetheless is mental bullshit. I finally filled in my mother on my moving out. Technically. Okay, not really. I more…introduced her to the idea? She still doesn’t know that her first born baby is 100%, no doubt, moving out. August 6th is fast approaching, and she still doesn’t know. But it’s okay guys, I have a plan.
In addition to that stressful mess, I have not only become an adult (legally, however mentally is always a question), I have graduated high school. The wonderful four year experience has finally come to a close. Now, you may be thinking, “Gee Ren, that sounds pretty sarcastic.” I can assure you, Reader, that it is not. I loved my time in high school. Despite the awful parts (see sophomore and junior years), I wouldn’t have changed anything at all. Well…that might not be all true.
For my ASL (American Sign Language) final, my gay husband, Jacob, and I each had to make a presentation. It was basically a what do you wish you had done differently/what’s the plan from here/what did you enjoy/advice to the underclassmen/any additional stuff you might want to add kind of deal. Jacob made the class cry with his speech, I made them laugh. However, that’s not the point. The point is what I wished I had done differently.
I wish I had accepted the cards that had been dealt to me far sooner than I had. The Navy moved us to Connecticut right before my freshman year. I was pissed. I didn’t want to be moved across the country. It took meeting Alex for me to appreciate CT. He didn’t roll around until after Christmas break my sophomore year. That’s right folks, it took me forever and a half to deal with moving. Skip ahead to beginning of senior year. I’m pissed again. The Navy ripped me away from all I had grown to care about. They added distance between me and the people who I loved the most. I didn’t really start being okay with the move until maybe November. Now, it wasn’t a year and a half of building friendships that got me to be quick about excepting everything.
Now Reader, you may be thinking, “What made this time different Ren?” Good question, Reader. It was the people. It was knowing where I was at. There’s a huge difference to moving to a place you haven’t seen since you were two years old, and moving to a place you grew up in. Now, we weren’t in Bremerton anymore Toto, but Silverdale is right next door to it. There’s a 15-25 minute drive from where I live now to where I lived just five years ago. I had pre-move friends here. But those aren’t the ones I’m talking about here (although they are superb, and I honestly couldn’t have adjusted to life without them).
I’m talking about my senior year of high school friends. The ones I go, nay, went to school with. Those who made my adjustment not so hard. One of the people that really stood out was my gay husband, Jacob. He had been homeschooled for all of his high school life (and then some? I’m not sure). He was just as new to this school as I was. Plus he reminded me of my Passive Aggressive Gay back home in New England (that is how he describes himself, I promise). Up until May or so, he was my rock that kept me from wanting to wallow in self pity. He was understanding, and he put up with all my panic and anxiety attacks. He wasn’t only in my Theater Arts class first semester, he was in my ASL class as well. He and I were basically the “parent friends” of ASL 1, Period 4.
I couldn’t be more grateful to all of my wonderful friends I made this year, and all the support I received from them. I was so sad to leave them all, and truth be told, I am still so sad that I had to leave them all. I will not remember the hate and contempt I had for this school because it was not Fitch. I will not remember not wanting anything to do with school pride because my heart was yearning to be back home. No, what I will remember will be all the kind people I met, and the lasting friendships that I will cherish forever.
Summary: Ren is emotional, but she is back to blogging.
Thanks for reading!